Julie Evans


Preacher told us that the way hope works is
you have to want something enough
that it stirs up some hope in you
and then hope needs to grow up a bit
and create some faith inside of you and

then that little black preacher said
“But you have to have faith that what you are hoping for
is actually on its way and that,” he said,
“is going to require courage and it’s that
courage that causes you to do something

that puts feet to your faith. “Oh,
he went on real powerfully explaining
how you have to use your mind, your will,
your emotions and your mouth to call upon that
thing that does not exist as if it does

and he didn’t want us, sitting there in that tiny church
to think that was all there was to it
because then we might never see much of anything
happen with our hope. He stomped his foot
on the hollow altar and growled

“You have got to be willing to change some things
if you want some things to change.”

But God

More times than I can remember
I have forgotten
to say the right thing
to command the mountain to be moved
to declare the victory
to call out in faith
More times than I care to remember
I have forgotten
to open my mind
and my heart
to the possibility
of the impossible
more times than I care to admit
I have been wrong
and instead of just admitting it
I spent thirty years trying to justify it
but God
knew to wait for me
so today I say to that mountain
be removed and cast into the sea
I no longer have time for you
and God knows you are sick of me.


There are parts of me
now spread
all over the Holy Land

I may be found
and careful about my eyes
in the Dead Sea

I will forever
be running down
the snake path
from Masada
challenged, surefooted
and baking in the sun

I am that one that isn’t
the outdated, been delivered, being
who cast her old bread
into the Jordan River
I am baptized, renewed
and the bride made ready.

I am on a boat
like the one
Peter was on
when he walked
on the water
I am on a boat
like the one
where the storm
was commanded to be still,
like the boat
where those nets
were lowered
on faith
and filled to bursting
From this boat
I can see the beach
where Jesus cooked
breakfast for his disciples

I am a tourist standing in lines
waiting to buy treasures and junk,
I am a tourist with a camera
hoping to capture some of
this magic, this mystery, this beauty
I am a tourist straining to hear
a soft voiced tour guide ramble on
and on and on about the archeological
significance of this site

I am like a little kid
living on a kibbutz,
riding on a camel,
laughing with my girlfriend,
staying up too late with my roommate,
I am like a little kid
hurrying through the rabbi’s tunnel,
searching through the rubble
left after the Holocaust

I am a believer
standing on holy ground
searching for and sensing the power
I am a believer
stunned into silence,
thrown to my knees
in reverence, touched

I am just a thirsty person
desperate for a sip
of the truth

About the Author

Julie Evans lives in Woodstock, New York with her fabulously talented husband, saxophonist Tommy Porto. Julie is in the business of helping people get better and learn more. She is a writer, bodyworker, counselor, professional voice actress, minister and mentor. She also teaches a variety of courses for Empire State College and is the host on a television show called Just Say So where she interviews people about their experiences with faith. She is captivated by people's stories and by the power of words.

website: www.wordsbyjulieevans.com
email: julieonjoy@gmail.com

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